Blooming Haiku Take 2 and 3

Here are two more responses to the prompt ‘early bloom’ at Carpe Diem.  My mind ranges all over the place and I’m never sure that my  finished poem  (a) addresses the prompt or (b) is haiku or senryu.   The first one refers to a discovery I made in my garden  a few weeks ago.  I found a tiny primrose blooming under the dead leaves!

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blooming too soon

this delicate flower

catches her death

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   I love humor in haiku but seldom achieve it to my satisfaction. Many other poets who share  on Carpe Diem have a knack for humor and often give me a chuckle or a belly laugh!    The first one below is still an  attempt to  respond to the prompt and reflects my poetic insecurities:

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a pretty verse

flowers from my fountain pen

but is it haiku?

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This transformed itself  right before my eyes into this one.  The prompt is completely gone but I think it reflects my  gut feelings much better!!

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is this verse

flowing from my pen

bloody haiku?

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©Wabi Sabi 2013

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15 thoughts on “Blooming Haiku Take 2 and 3

  1. I really like your early blooming haiku at the top. I resonate with the mixture of joy and sadness in it.

    The other two pose the questions I ask every time these 17 syllable units of consolidated communication begin to show up in front of me on the screen (I type). I get started on haiku and suddenly everything I say comes out in 17 syllables. I don’t know if all the ones I write are haiku. Many of mine just don’t sound “haiku-y” enough to me. Some are narrative, some painterly, some are emotionally evocative… see how you said all this and more in your second and third haiku? To me, this means they are haiku.

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  2. Great post … in my opinion there is no difference between a senryu or a haiku. And so … don’t break your head on that question. Write your verses right from the heart and if you feel that it is a haiku (or senryu) than that it is.
    I remember myself questioning my verses, but all my verses feel like haiku and maybe they aren’t that great, and maybe they aren’t 5-7-5 syllables … well … to me it doesn’t really matter. I enjoy writing haiku and I am enjoying every wonderful haiku which I am so glad to find in the post on Carpe Diem.
    Haiku is a life-style …

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  3. First haiku is really nice, early blooming and early death! when I was first introduced to this form I was totally blank on how to say a feeling in 17 syllables or is it fine to limit your creativity in three lines. But now I have realised its beauty, I so short words You actually guide your readers through a whole experience. You haiku (all three) speak for themselves.

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  4. I find myself writing haiku on love themes, Wabi when I know perfectly that true haiku, apart from it being 5-7-5 should be on nature. Point is I’m not a nature lover. But I have come to love what I write based on positive feedback from you wonderful bloggers. Write what your muse tells you to, Wabi. That is creativity. 🙂

    Excellently written, as always 🙂

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    • I agree – write what moves you and perhaps it will move others too! Haiku doesn’t have to be about nature or 5-7-5. It is a fun word exercise, challenge, word game… whatever you want it to be…. and I’ve seen some pretty romantic haiku too! So write on!!!

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  5. I love the rawness as well as the humor in the 3rd simply because I ask that question every single day.

    There’s nothing wrong with wanting to learn the diff between ‘ku and ‘ryu or any other “rules” that you can experiment with and break later. Haiku / senryu is an art form just like any other art and improving one’s skills with a little reading and regular practice isn’t being uptight, in my opinion, rather it shows a love for the craft/art. I love learning more about haiku beyond 5-7-5 and kigo. There’s so much more to know! This coming from someone who just got her first haiku rejection letter this morning. Keep growing. Keep learning. Keep writing.

    Haiku has to do with nature. It usually doesn’t put a human element and likes to stay away from focusing on the self.

    Senryu is about the human condition usually with a humorous touch. The second 2 of your ‘ku are definitely senryu. And the third is hilarious.

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